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Hello Jesus
I love you
You did this
Thank you Lord,
Your child,
Jacob =)
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A look around
It’s pretty crazy the amount of culture you can find while you wait for your clothes to wash at the laundry mat. Lately, the washer at the house I live in has been out of service and so I have been sitting here waiting for my clothes to be washed and as I sit here listening to some Will Reagan, I am presented with the fact that we as Americans have so much culture, and yet we have so much need for the gospel to be presented. People say that Americans are all just uncivilized and don’t have very much culture at all or anything, but man oh man is that wrong. If they could see what I see now, they would think differently. I mean, a mother at the laundry mat just having fun together with their kids, even if she is stressed out. A group of friends together here but so far in distance from each other’s minds at the same time both find time to laugh and smile. It’s critical that this is seen, and critical that this is felt. This is America. This is our culture. This is us, full of life and not only life, but life that is so beautiful yet so simplistic. It is the blood of our nation, and the blood of our people, even if they’re immigrants. It’s lovely, and I love that God made such a melting pot of people come together to experience life in the same community with each other because, my goodness it’s gorgeous.
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Such a good song. =)
(Source: littlethingsaboutgod, via sparks-and-embers)
I love this.
(Source: walking-in-the-air, via sparks-and-embers)
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So California, huh?
One would think it would feel weird or something along those lines living here after living in Tennessee for so long, but honestly, it feels completely natural. I feel like I’ve known the people around here for so long even though it’s only been a couple of weeks (well almost).
I was told tonight by someone that they were really glad that I just kind of fit so well into this group of friends that I now can know and love and call my friends and brothers and sisters. She thanked me for being the way I am and to my knowledge I don’t know that anyone has ever done that before (I’m probably wrong so if I offend the maybe 5 of my actual friends who read this then I apologize in advance). It was just such a simple comment and such a simple thank you, but it truly meant a lot to me. It just completely affirms how right it is for me to be out here, and how God wants me out here. This is my new home away from home and I’ve learned so much just in the short time that I’ve been here, especially in the past day, that it just really gives me a hunger to see what’s next. And the glorious thing about that is that I know that it’s God answering my prayer to have a seriously strong desire for this. I was actually talking about having a desire for a book that I have to read for my New Testament Survey class, but I mean hey…God does work outside our little box we put Him in and now I see that God is telling me to quit limiting my prayers to little things, to actually ask of Him things that show His glory in the answering of said prayers.
God, I apologize and here’s to a continued relationship forever and ever until I’m face to face with You, whether that be in spirit or in my new body, I don’t know but HOLY CRAP I’m so excited to see You!
It’s so good to be here.
I love you all, here with me and back home,
Jacob
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Made it to Simi
Let’s do this. =)
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Departing day
The day I’ve been anticipating arrived today, and what a day it was. A LONG long long day…so many emotions…so much road…so much disdain for those roads…
So now, as I’m sitting in the hotel room in the dark, I had time to stop and actually catch my breath a little bit. Things came to light for me today, and I’m confused as to how I should go about them. On one hand, I know how to proceed. On the other hand, I have a dangerous way I can proceed, but that’s also the one I want to go with. Either way, I’m going to be in California by next Thursday night. I know this post is confusing. Just needed to put the thoughts somewhere tonight. Too many to process by myself. Going to Carlsbad tomorrow. Then from there, it’s still kind of undecided a little. Pray for my health if you would, though. I’m getting sick and if I get sick, my dad gets sick. Then we have a problem. So just pray for us please.
Anyways, good night
Love,
Jacob
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As I come closer and closer to the departing time for my drive to and new life in California, some things are becoming even more into perspective:
1. I’m a different person than I was before. I never really truly noticed it until it started to become closer and closer to the 20th (that’s the day I’m leaving), but now that I do notice it, then I notice it in FULL. I’ve become more conscious of what I do, yet less intoxicated by the idea of trying to propel myself towards what the world deems as right. I don’t care what the world really thinks as much, albeit that I’m not totally uncaring what the world thinks, but just less drawn towards a real care about what they think. I feel drawn more towards life and what is fulfilling and what “juice is worth the squeeze” in my life. I feel compelled to just live now. Yes, I want to live for Christ, but as I grow up and learn, then I find out that living for Christ isn’t what most of my community sees it as. It’s actually kind of a rebellious life from society. Jesus and Religion can’t be in the same sentence supporting each other. That is one of the central points in the last video I posted, and it’s completely true. I just never thought about how harsh and blunt that truth was until I saw that. I knew it but I never realized it. So I’m changing. I like it.
2. The world is a place I want to experience in more than just movies and books. It’s a place that I want to experience in more than just looking outside my window or going on a hike or a run or a camping trip or something. I want to experience the world like God wanted us to. I want to be put in such awe by my surroundings and by God’s second greatest masterpiece that’s filled with his first greatest, that I can’t do anything but sit there and weep. I’ve cried at a sunset before. Once, at Orange Beach. It was really humbling. It wasn’t a sobbing disgusting cry where your entire arsenal of facial liquids besides blood assault you, but one of those silent ones where you can’t do anything but sit there and absorb yourself so much into something and see how beautiful it is and just…cry. Like a groom seeing his bride walk down the isle. The groom knows people are watching him, but he doesn’t care in the least bit because here is something in front of him that he CANNOT take his eyes off of even if he wanted to. I want to be overwhelmed by God and his presence in this world at any given time, all the time. What other reason is there for this world to be so gorgeous if not to show God’s glory to his greatest creation?
3. I’m a douche. I’ve realized that. Or maybe I just used to be a douche. I didn’t ever want to admit it, but yeah, I’m a douche or used to be one or whatever. The point is that I don’t act like I should in a lot of situations. and it’s not because I don’t know how, it’s because I’m a moron and don’t want to give into my selfish stubborn stupid pride like that. If I give in, then somehow that makes me in some way…not myself? Inhuman? What? Nothing, it just means that I know how to show compassion and that’s what I need to strive for. That’s what I need to do. Love like God loves. Or at least come as close to that as I can. The closer I come to being like Jesus then the more glory I show Him because everyone will know that He is my role model.
4. I’m tired of trees and cold. I want sunshine and the smell of warmth and water. I went to Florida in November to pick up a friend for Thanksgiving and while I’m not too fond of the actual state and the state that it is in, I loved the way everything down there was. I love that I could breathe in smell sand and salt and waves. I want that all the time. I don’t want to have to change the temperature of my shower every few weeks because I don’t want to have dry skin because that hurts and annoys me. Wow, that sounded shallow and American. I apologize for that. My point is that I realized that I need to change my surroundings because although I will miss my parents, my siblings, my niece and nephews, Dylan, Christan, Travis, Jenny, the youth kids, and my friends at work, my life is no longer here even though I still live here right now. I don’t feel like this is my home anymore. I just feel like a guy staying in a hotel that I’m intimately familiar with. So lastly…
5. I can’t wait to leave. Sorry if that’s harsh and in-your-face to the people who I know personally who read this. It’s the truth. I’m trying to be completely honest nowadays. So this is the truth. I know that when I’m out there I’ll want to come back and see people, but something tells me that I won’t want to live in Tennessee again for at least a couple years. That might mean I’ll stay in California, that might mean I’ll move to Texas, or Oregon, or someplace else, maybe Ireland (that would be a treat! =D), I don’t know where I’ll be. I just know that I’m being called for something greater than the broken glass shard of the United States, or The Volunteer State, if you will. I don’t know where I’m going, but I’ll always remember the steps that it took to get there. Time to take a breath.
Love,
Jacob
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Boom-chicka-pow.
‘Nuff said.
Love,
Jacob
